Offense

I ran across (i.e. read) something a while back that inspired me to write down this statement: The true self is too large, too grounded to ever take offense. Much later, and separately (or so I thought), these words found their way out of my heart and fingers onto the screen:

Refusing to take offense at another's words or actions, even and especially when offense is intended, is one of the greatest displays of Love's amazing strength. Most people do the opposite, letting ego be offended when none was intended. When we do that, all of our own power has been surrendered to someone else's words, and we become completely dependent on them to retract or reverse the offense we took. In these circumstances, we revert to either making direct accusations (“I can’t believe you…”) or ordering people to confess, based on our assumptive accusations (“Please tell me that you didn’t…”).

Kindness and acceptance are also one of the best ways of disarming destructive power. When you reply, “Thank you.” to words intended for your harm, you not only neutralize the negativity, but you might also effectively flummox intentional perpetrators. Instead of asking, “What did you mean by that?” in response to others’ opinions, while assuming the worst, what would happen if we decided to take their words at their best meaning, or not to bother taking them at all?

Just don't take it. Remind yourself that it's not really all about you. And if it's not all about you, you've got no business taking anything, least of all offense. If you're going to take something that doesn't belong to you, make it a compliment.

© 2015 Todd Jenkins