Wishing for Happiness

Looking over your shoulder,

things could have been different,

maybe even much better.

What tale would you rewrite

if you had a story eraser?

Family, friends, career?

Maybe even chances missed

by the non-choice of hesitation?

Even when I plan the Nth degree,

my foresight turns out to be

about as good as my eyesight:

much in need of at least a good pair

of dollar store reading glasses.

Who could have predicted this rain

that dampens life’s parade?

And so I relive the tragedy of

my comic existence over and over,

second-guessing every decision,

wistfully imagining edited versions,

ever rainbowing my monochromatic life.

In this state of desired mulligans,

emptiness hangs heavy in the air,

making every breath a struggle.

Through quiet moments, attending respiration,

I slowly begin to realize what’s missing.

Not the fairy tale, or opportunities lost,

but the very soul of life itself.

Wishing for perfection’s happiness blinds me

to a life of joy always present

in the gift of gratitude for this journey:

hope in each path and person,

grace in every thought, word, deed.

© 2011 Todd Jenkins